Why I’m Tired of the Pregnant Man

Thomas Beatie

Once again Thomas Beatie is all over the news. When the story first hit the news two years ago I cringed. People all around me were buzzing with this information. It also helped that I was living in the same state as Beatie when this news broke. Many of my workmates bantered back and forth about the issue. It was interesting hearing their thoughts especially since I was not out at that job as being transgender. I chose not to talk about it, but I did know that the whole story rubbed me the wrong way.

Often when a sensational issue comes to the fore I choose not to dialogue about it. Issues such as these typically do nothing more than lead to arguments. Everyone has their own opinion about it and they are, of course, entitled to them. My silence also allows me to really evaluate why it is I am having a particular reaction to it. It wasn’t until last year when my mom asked me directly about it that I finally had a open dialogue about Beatie. You see, Thomas Beatie was on Oprah, thus entering into mainstream awareness.

Now that Beatie is expecting his third child and he is once again in the news my emotional reaction has got me grinding teeth. And here is why:

“First” Pregnant Man – This declaration is not only sensational, but also false. He is not the first transgender male to give birth. He is, however, the first transgender male to make it a media event. I know of at least one individual in the Bay Area who gave birth many years ago. Yes it raised some eyebrows within the queer and transgender communities, but it wasn’t solicited to mainstream media. And this very fact is where my issue rests. Do I care that a transgender male decided to get pregnant? No. The decision to get pregnant is an extremely private one and lies solely with Beatie and his wife.

I do, however, have to question the motivation behind making it a major media event. What was Beatie hoping to get out of it? I can’t assume to know his motivations, nor can I expect that the resulting media portrayal was an accurate reflection of Beatie’s original intentions. But I have to wonder why it was he chose to expose his pregnancy and his families anonymity to the media. I later heard reports about how he and his family were then constantly subjected to media outside their residence. While I can not imagine Beatie wanted to lose all privacy I do have to wonder if he had truly considered the ramifications of publicizing his pregnancy.

For me this was not much different than the sensationalism akin to a circus side show. The only possible motive I can come up with is monetary gain. But at what cost? And at the same time, I recognize that Beatie has every right to disclose this information in any way he chooses. But this leads to the question, that if we so choose, can we within the TGQIGNC communities find ways to disclose our lives to mainstream media in a way that is more humanizing?

One fact remains: there is a lot more work to be done – on the part of the media, allies, and TGQIGNC communities.